Is your daughter struggling with her identity? Does she know what her identity is and where it comes from?
I want to share 2 points about identity.
If we were to walk into any art museum we would see paintings or sculptures by different artists. When people look at that art they are trying to determine what the art means and what was the artist thinking. Ephesians 2:10 says we are His masterpiece. Not our own. Not somebody else’s. Not even our mom or dads. So if we are His masterpiece we need to go back to the master artist and ask what was your intent when you made me? What was your intention when you painted my life? What were you dreaming when you were thinking me up? We’ve heard that we are created in the image of God so many times. It’s in our constitution, it’s been in the MLK speech, we’ve read it in the Bible, we’ve heard people preach about it, but I want it to really sink in for a second. We look like Him and we were intended to act just like Him.
So where do we get these outside labels, that we tend to put on ourselves that have nothing to do with the image of God inside of us? I wear tons of labels. I’m a mom, I’m a pastor, I’m a therapist, I’m an author, I’m a wife, I’m black, I’m 6 feet tall, I’m a Californian… I can wear tons of labels. All of these labels I wear, but NONE of them are my identity. Why? Because they are all subject to change. Yes, I’m a therapist, but I’m not currently practicing. Where I live is also subject to change. What I do with my life is subject to change. When my kids grow up and move out I’m still mom, but I’m not going to be needed in the same capacity, right? All of these outside labels are subject to change. Our identity is actually eternal. We cannot define ourselves by these labels that we put on in the flesh. We have to only define ourselves by what God says about us and the identity that He gave us.
I encourage you to have this conversation with your daughter? Ask her these questions.
Our feelings cannot inform our identity. Sometimes I feel amazing. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I feel like a Christian. Sometimes I don’t. You cannot use your feelings as a basis for your identity. If we don’t tell our girls who they are, someone else is ready and waiting to tell them who they are. The world, social media or their friends will tell them who they think our daughters should be.
Have these conversations with your daughter. They don’t have to be long. Keep them short and consistent.
Donna Martin, Teen Girl Mentor